The Power of “I”: One Simple Language Shift That Builds Confidence in Dental Teams
Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a grand announcement. Sometimes it creeps in quietly, when you shift something subtle – like the words you use.
Recently, I had the privilege of working with a member of a team who had begun to feel invisible. Despite being experienced, skilled, and well-liked, she told me he felt underconfident, overlooked, and undervalued by leadership and management. His contributions were often missed or misattributed, and her confidence and being a valued part of a team was was fading.
As we talked through her situation, I noticed something curious. When he described achievements or successes – things she had directly contributed to – she used phrases like:
“They solved that patient’s problems well’
“They managed to create a great result.”
“You don’t really think about what you’ve done.”
I pointed out that he rarely used “I” or “me” when talking about his own efforts, experiences or results even though he was central to what had gone well. In contrast, when he described things that had gone wrong for the team, he said “I” or “Me.” It was as if his own voice had been edited out of his success story and into group mistakes.
He paused. It wasn’t something he’d been aware of. In fact, he told me that when talking about personal achievements, he’d assumed using “I” was boastful or self-centred. But, in avoiding it, he had inadvertently handed away his power.
We agreed on one simple experiment: over the next week, hhe would practise using “I” when talking about his contributions and experiences, and “we” when referring to the team’s work. Nothing dramatic – just a conscious shift in language.
A week later, he returned glowing, with a huge smile. Not only had he started to feel more self assured and confident in himself, but his managers and team members had also begun to respond differently. He said:
“It was such a small change – but I felt different. I was claiming what I’d done. And, strangely, others started giving me credit, too. It was like I became visible.”
This is just one tool and element and part of the process of building self confidence, it’s a simple but powerful piece of the puzzle. I invite you to test this for yourself, when talking about yourself say I (not one) or me. Notice how often you are giving away and distancing yourself from your experiences and successes, when you reclaim agency
Why This Matters in Dentistry
Dental practices are busy, high-pressure environments. It’s easy for quieter voices to get lost in the noise. But that doesn’t mean your contribution isn’t valuable. Whether you’re a nurse, receptionist, therapist, practice manager or dentist, your language plays a huge part in how others perceive you – and, more importantly, how you perceive yourself.
By switching from:
- “They managed the diary really well.”
to
“I found a solution that kept the day running smoothly.”
Or from:
- “You just go with the flow.”
to
“I’ve learned to adapt quickly to changing situations.”
You’re not bragging – you’re acknowledging. You’re putting yourself in the picture.
When you use “I”, you take ownership.
When you use “we”, you show collaboration.
When you default to “you” or “they”, you disconnect.
A Step Towards Empowerment
Building confidence is not always about bold moves. Often, it’s about small shifts done consistently. The language you use – even just your choice of pronouns – can either reinforce your invisibility or quietly strengthen your self-worth.
So next time you catch yourself saying “you” when you mean “I”, pause. Try the switch. Say it aloud. Let yourself take up a little more space.
It’s not arrogance. It’s presence.
And presence is often the first step towards being recognised, heard, and empowered in your role.
