The Curse of Being Intelligent and Successful
Why Smart Dentists Struggle and How to Set Yourself Free
There’s something few people talk about in dentistry—especially in the early years—and that’s the curse of being intelligent and successful. You might be wearing a mask of calm professionalism, but inside you feel overwhelmed, terrified of making a mistake, frightened of being sued, and unsure if you can keep going like this.
You’re not alone.
I coach many young dentists who feel this way. You may have come into this profession believing it would be fulfilling, creative, and rewarding—and while parts of it are, you’re finding it emotionally and mentally exhausting. You may even be questioning whether you’ve made the right career choice.
Let me tell you now: you are not broken. You are not weak. You are not failing.
What you are is under-resourced—and I call this state the curse of success.
The Hidden Cost of High Achievement
To get into dental school, you had to be among the best. That usually means top marks at A-level, possibly a raft of extracurriculars, and a solid, structured support system around you. Many dentists come from backgrounds where achievement was expected and facilitated—private tutors, high-performing schools, and parental support that often veered into helicopter territory.
Because of this, many of you were never given permission or the opportunity to fail.
Some of your parents might have stepped in to “help” with projects, corrected your homework, or protected you from the consequences of low marks. And society, in general, has grown more cautious—parents, schools, and systems all striving to keep young people “safe” from harm, which sometimes means keeping them safe from growth.
So now, in your twenties, you find yourself in a real-world clinical setting where things can—and do—go wrong. A restoration fails. A patient complains. A colleague misinterprets something you said. And suddenly, you’re thrown into the kind of emotional tailspin you’ve never had to navigate before.
When Perfection Becomes the Problem
Dentistry has a damaging myth built into it: that we must never make mistakes.
The truth? Human beings only learn effectively through making mistakes. If you think back, the most powerful learning moments in life probably didn’t come from the times you got everything right—they came when something went wrong and you had to adapt, reflect, and grow.
But for many young dentists, mistakes feel catastrophic. A failed treatment isn’t just a clinical complication—it becomes a character judgment. A patient complaint feels like a personal attack. A dropped grade on a test becomes a referendum on your worth. I once worked with a final-year student who was suicidal after failing a midterm exam by two marks. It was the first time in their life they hadn’t been top of the class, and they had no frame of reference for how to cope.
To some of you, that might sound dramatic.
To others, it might feel painfully familiar.
The Gift of Getting It Wrong
So what do we do about this? We learn how to fail.
And I mean that quite literally. Failing well—with perspective, resilience, and curiosity—is a skill. And like all skills, it can be learned.
If you recognise yourself in this article—if anxiety, stress, or perfectionism are weighing heavily on you—then here’s my invitation: go out and practice failing. Not in your surgery, obviously, but in the rest of your life.
Try cooking a recipe without following instructions.
Pick up a new sport—like paddleboarding—and fall off, repeatedly.
Do something that challenges the status quo, like one of my friends who walked into a McDonald’s and asked to buy a television, or took a banana for a walk on a lead. Yes, it’s silly—but that’s the point. You learn that the world doesn’t end when you do something “wrong.”
You Are Not Alone
If you are struggling, please know that it’s OK to ask for help. I’ve worked with hundreds of dentists over the past 20 years who’ve been where you are. Stress, anxiety, burnout, emotional meltdowns—it’s not a sign of failure. It’s a sign you need more support, more tools, and more compassion for yourself.
If you’ve never tried coaching before, you’re welcome to join one of my Free Call Fridays—a complimentary taster session to talk things through confidentially and without judgement.
Dentistry can be a beautiful, fulfilling, life-affirming career. But first, you have to allow yourself to be human.
And that starts by learning how to fail.
To book a conversation with Jane visit www.IODB.co.uk, use the SPEAK WITH JANE button to access the appointment book
