Over the last twenty years of coaching dentists, hygienists, therapists, and practice managers, I’ve noticed a pattern that’s becoming increasingly common. Facebook groups and WhatsApp chats have taken the place of local cpd groups and chats in the pub with mates. Increasing I see people reaching out, asking for help, support, or reassurance —while the sense of community the quick response, digital age has created may be wonderful for some, it usually does not provide the information sought because posters are so often they’re asking the wrong questions of the wrong people.
It’s not that the questions are foolish or that the people answering don’t mean well. Far from it. It’s that the framing of the question and the choice of audience often prevent the person from getting the answer they truly need.
When you ask a better question, you get a better answer — and when you get a better answer, you make a better decision. It really is that simple.
Digital forums are like black and white still photographs while a conversation with the right person is like a 3d film. In the latter, there is depth of information, context, refinement.
By their nature digital messaging is short, a vastly edited version of your situation and rarely provides enough for your answer to be found.
The wrong questions, the wrong people
In professional forums, I regularly see questions like:
- How should I structure my appointment book?
- Should I be employed or self-employed?
- Do I need a locum?
- What do you put in your goodie bags?
On the surface, these look like practical, reasonable questions. But when asked in a general chat group, they invite general answers. They draw opinions, not expertise.
Your peers can share what they do — and sometimes that’s useful — but their advice comes from their context, not yours. They don’t know your values, your team, your patients, your business model, or your aspirations. They can only ever answer from their own perspective.
So, when you ask the wrong question of the wrong people, you’re not gathering insight — you’re gathering noise.
The power of asking better questions
Let’s take that example about goodie bags. I often see questions like, What do you put in yours?
It’s a simple question, but it invites a scatter of disconnected answers — toothpaste, floss, vouchers, lip balm, pens. Each person will list what they use, but it tells you nothing about what’s right for your practice.
Now, imagine reframing the question:
“My practice’s top values are kindness, safety, understanding, fairness, quality, and health. Our team loves great coffee, conversation, and cake. What could we include in our goodie bags to convey those values and interests to our patients?”
That’s a very different question — and it will lead to a very different, more thoughtful, and creative answer.
The first version invites imitation.
The second invites innovation and alignment.
When you ask a question that’s rich in context, purpose, and self-awareness, you don’t just get a list of things — you get ideas that fit you.
From imitation to innovation
Too often, we ask questions that lead us to imitate what others are doing instead of understanding why they’re doing it. In business and in life, copying someone else’s strategy rarely creates the same result, because their decisions are rooted in their own values, culture, and audience.
In dentistry, patients don’t choose you because you’re identical to the practice down the road. They choose you because they know you, like you, and trust you. They come to you for you. They come to you because you are different.
So, when you ask questions about marketing, team building, customer service, finance and pricing or systems etc, make sure those questions honour your uniqueness. The most successful practices I know didn’t fit in — they stood out. They didn’t imitate; they innovated.
Ask the right people too
Equally important is who you ask. A Facebook comment thread can be helpful for camaraderie, but not for specialist advice. Colleagues may have an opinion about HR, tax, or employment, but that doesn’t make them an expert in law, finance, or leadership.
If your question is technical, ask someone qualified. If it’s personal, ask someone who helps you think — not someone who tells you what to do. That’s where coaching makes such a difference.
A good coach won’t give you an answer; they’ll help you find yours. They’ll listen deeply, reflect what’s important, and create the space for you to understand your values, your motivations, and your direction. Coaching helps you ask the kind of questions that lead to better clarity, better choices, and better results. Coaching sessions are like the missing punctuation in the sentence that is your working life, time to pause, catch your breath, refocus and recharge.
Better questions, better outcomes
Next time you catch yourself typing a question into a WhatsApp chat or Facebook group, pause. Ask yourself:
- Who am I really asking?
- What do they truly know about me or my situation?
- Is this the right question to get the answer I need?
Then reframe it. Add context. Include your values, your goals, your concerns. Make the question reflect you.
When you ask better questions, you naturally attract better answers — and when you have better answers, you make better decisions, build better relationships, and achieve better outcomes.
An invitation
If you find yourself wondering what the right questions are — or how to uncover the ones that lead to meaningful change — that’s exactly the kind of work we do in coaching.
In our sessions, I help you explore the questions beneath the surface. Together, we uncover what’s really going on and what matters most to you, so your answers — and your results — are truly your own.
If you’d like to experience that process, you’re warmly invited to book a Free Call Friday coaching session via my website: www.iodb.co.uk. It’s complimentary, confidential, and designed to help you think clearly about your next step.
